Bad moods, whether we like it or not – happen. And right now given the current circumstances (I won’t even use the C word), they may be happening more frequently than we may like. So it’s more important than ever that we learn to help ourselves through these times as no-one is immune to a bad mood. The advice I provide in this blog post is advice that I have learnt over time and *try* and follow but hey I am human and I am certainly not perfect so there may be the odd time where I fall into victim mode and kick and scream but that’s OK!
I also want to mention that this advice also works particularly well not only for a bad mood but also for dealing with difficult symptoms of hormone imbalance such as PMS and menopausal changes when our hormones seem to be doing do one over on us!
All of these things aren’t always in our control, but what is in our control is how we choose to respond. A lot of people may choose to numb out these feelings they experience (again no judgement) through alcohol or food etc and at times we kinda need that release, but what is more impactful is moving through these difficult times. So here is my advice:
Drop the resistance
As soon as we experience a feeling or symptom that we don’t ‘want’ our minds can go a little into overdrive.
‘Why am I feeling this way?’ ‘What did I do that caused this?’ ‘Did I eat too much/too little/too much sugar?’ ‘Was it that glass of wine last night?’ ‘Maybe I didn’t sleep well?’ ‘It’s because X person/thing has triggered me’ ‘Is it my hormones?’
This is usually followed by multiple solutions or increased thought in how the mood/symptom can be *fixed* and therein lies the problem. The moment something needs to be fixed is the moment that what you are experiencing becomes the problem. And I am sure you are familiar with the phrase ‘what you resist persists’ – this is exactly what tends to happen because you become so focussed on what you are experiencing.
The best thing you can do is drop the resistance and allow whatever is going on – to just be. Easier said than done I know.. trust me I fall into this pattern frequently. But the moment you stop fighting against what is, the easier the bad mood/symptom/emotion becomes, because then there is nothing to ‘do’ in that moment. Resistance adds anxiety to the problem which fuels the problem even more.
Now I am not saying you have to accept whatever it is that’s going on as that can be pretty tough and create resistance in itself but it’s more of a ‘OK this is going on, can I allow this to just be for a moment?’ and see what happens.
This brings us then to…
Acknowledge what you are feeling
Once you stop all the thinking and fixing you can just pause and take a moment to connect with yourself. You’re not just a head you’re also a body! And our bodies hold far more wisdom than we give it credit for. You can close your eyes (or even leave them open if you wish) and take in a deep breath. Feel your body, feel your feet against the ground and just see what is coming up for you.
Is it – anger, fear, frustration? Name it. Take it a step further and see if there is a place in your body where you can feel it and just feel it without resisting it and let it be even for a few moments and connect with your breath. Take some nice deep breaths – even just one breath is incredibly powerful at shifting emotions.
*I would like to add just a little caveat here – this may not dissolve the mood/symptom/emotion immediately so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t feel anything improve. We are energetic beings and by following this process it creates space for these lower energies to move through us and it can take some time to see this. By doing this and expecting things to shift immediately its again putting you back into resistance/fix mode. You will only understand the power of this process by actually experiencing it yourself and once you do – you will always return to this process of supporting your body in this way.
Show yourself some compassion
OK, I know you hear this everywhere – it’s almost become ‘the thing’ on social media – self love, self care bla bla. BUT what I am talking about here you may find a little different (I hope). Sometimes we can fall into victim mode when we are suffering, it’s easily done and because not everyone has the same experiences it can be hard for others to understand what you are going through – even if they really try.
So it’s extremely important that we are able to show some compassion towards ourselves and its incredibly soothing once you try it out.
This includes: speaking to yourself and giving yourself reassurance that its OK to feel what you feel, it HAS been really tough, NOBODY can understand but you can understand how hard it has truly been, and its HUMAN to feel the way that you feel because we experience the whole spectrum of emotions. Hold your hand on your heart and speak these words to yourself. Give yourself that understanding that you seek and if any emotion comes up and through – allow it, trust me you will feel so much better for it.
What can I do to support myself?
So now that you have taken some time to connect with yourself a little more, this is the time where you can ask yourself ‘What is it that will support me right now?’ The difference to before when your mind scrambles for the fix or to suppress the feeling is that you’re now in a different energy and a much more receptive place to make a positive choice for your health and wellbeing. Your body will give you the answer.
You can even do a little check in to see if you’re meeting your basic needs – Nutrition, sleep, movement and connection (with yourself or others). I find it’s usually a good idea to ‘disconnect’ too – from social media, whatsapp and emails to just recentre. Remember this isn’t a frantic to do list to ‘fix’ its tuning into your bodies needs, its taking a gentle step in the direction you need to support yourself.
I really hope this has been useful for someone out there. I am just sharing what I have found to be powerful for myself and as I mentioned I am not perfect – I just know that this option is here for when I choose to connect with it. Remember – bad moods happen and we don’t always know why, symptoms happen, emotions happen so don’t beat yourself up about it. Roll with it and know that it will pass – it always does.
I’d love for you to share this article to anyone you feel may benefit from reading it ?
Warm (socially distanced) hugs, A x